I know it has been awhile again. I thought that I was doing pretty good with things... even made it through the 16th and 17th of August pretty well. But things went down hill this week. I know that it might sound a bit odd. We lost Olivia 6 months ago and obviously it is real but this week they called to tell us her stone is in place. The whole way along it was something that I kept putting off. It kept changing the design on the back and having then put the writing in different fonts. Even I knew I was being difficult. I kept telling myself that I just wanted it to be perfect and while yes, I do want it to be perfect, that wasn't really the reason why I was putting off finalizing it. I just didn't know why I was dragging my feet. This week I realized why I kept pushing it off.
The past few months I have been healing... but now it is so real again. I have not even been there to see it but now I know it is there. Carved in a beautiful purple stone is "Olivia Barbara Hill" and below that reads "God needed one little angel." On the back "Beloved Daughter of Nick and Dawn." There forever (or at least the next one to two hundred years) it will be there. I have no idea why the thought of those words etched in stone is so difficult for me to think about but there is just something that makes it so... permanent.
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