Olivia's tree

So... the holidays are just not the same this year.  Lately, I have been having a lot of "I should be" moments.  Thanksgiving... I "should" be thankful for something- anything.  Black Friday "I should be" shopping for a toddler.  Last night... "I should be going to the holiday parade with Laura, Ruby, Ivy and Olivia."  I "should" post to that blog.

So... I can't change most of those things... but I can post.

Anyone who knows anything about me knows that Christmas is "my" holiday.  I love it.  Everything about it.  I don't start celebrating until the day after Thanksgiving but come midnight on Thanksgiving and I am all in.  I rock out to Christmas music, love cheesy made for tv holiday movies and plan all month for Christmas Eve dinner.  I have lots and lots of decorations and wholeheartedly look forward to the morning of the 26th so I can go shopping for after Christmas sales to expand my holiday hoard.

As usual, last year, we went shopping.  I really wanted to buy a small pink tree for Olivia but I couldn't find one I liked.  So I bought a 4 foot fake tree and all the trimmings.  I got pink beads, glittery snowflakes, and purple and pink ornaments.  All for Olivia's tree.  Christmas is my favorite holiday and I wanted it to be hers too.  I wanted her to have a tree just for her in her room.  Well... this year I wasn't sure about it but I put up that tree.  I thought about decorating it differently but I didn't.  It is just as planned- and I must say... I am good.  It is beautiful and I know that she would have loved it.  I know that years from now things will be different but it will always be Olivia's tree.  I will decorate it differently and set it up in a different place but I will always think about her when I set it up.  I will remember the morning when I braved the crowds with her to search for a pink tree and came home with this one.