I have been so busy lately so it will take me a few days catch up with what has been happening lately. Work has been busy and over the weekend we went to Duluth and Eau Claire to visit Nick's family and high school friends. It was nice to see everyone and I will post about it this week but today I want to share something that I have learned about grief.
Sometimes, grief is no different then being sick. You know those days when you feel like you are starting to get sick and you just push through with the idea that "it's not a big deal" and then you end up really sick. Then at that point all you can do is wish that you would have taken the time for yourself when you needed it. That happened to me last week.
I had a fairly busy weekend getting ready for a work function and getting ready for vacation. I knew that I was hurting but I but those feelings on the back burner and tried to push through. It was a horrible plan. By the time I got home on Tuesday night I couldn't stop crying. I had not taken the time I needed for myself and it had caught up to me... I tried to push through but the date had caught up to me. On Monday, May 16th, Olivia would have been 7 months old and on Tuesday, May 17th it was 3 months since she left us.
Luckily, I have Nick and he just held me and let me cry. It was then that I realized that trying to push through is not the way to get through this. I need to let myself miss my baby. It has been 3 months but sometimes it feels like it was yesterday... and that is okay. I think it would be worse if there were days when I didn't miss her so much. And honestly... I felt so much better on Wednesday morning.
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