Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Avoiding friends and "what now" moments

It has been bothering me lately that I have been pretty lax about getting to Michigan this summer to visit my friends.  For those of you who don’t know I have no less than 15 friends or acquaintances who have had babies since the first of the year.  I hate not being able to share with them.  I hate that I don’t really want to talk to them and I really hate that I don’t want to visit.  I just can’t.  I want to- I really want to be a good friend especially since some have stepped up so much during the past few months.  But the thought of going and being bombarded by babies gives me a headache.  I just can’t.  I hope that I will be able to soon… but I have a feeling that I am going to have to ease back into this part of my life.  I used to have so many things in common with everyone and the fact that I can’t share in their joy of motherhood kills me.

Which brings me to my “now what” revelation.  Nick and I have been going to counseling and I think that has helped us understand where each person is in their own grieving.  Now it is time to find other people who have been through this.  I need someone else in my life who knows that this pain will never go away.  It will ease and I will be able to breathe.  We will go on and have more children and then everything will be good.  But no matter how good it ever gets… I will always carry with me a certain amount of pain.

No comments:

Post a Comment