Yesterday was the first time I had to tell someone new about Olivia. I have had to talk to people who didn't know that Olivia died but this was the first time I told someone that I too had a baby in October... but that my little girl died in February.
Her is how it happened. We have a few new people at work and they were in town for training. I didn't go out to dinner with them when they were here 3 weeks ago. At that time, I wasn't up for socializing but this time I thought okay... I should go. At dinner Brian was talking about his son who is 5 1/2 months old. I kept thinking that his son was the same age that Olivia would be. Finally, I gathered up enough courage to ask him when his son was born and he said, "October 13th."
I thought about it and I said, "my daughter Olivia was born on October 16th." He got really excited and asked if I had any pictures of her with me. I said "I do... but Olivia died in February." After that I don't remember much of the conversation. He teared up and said he was so sorry. I said it was okay. He asked if it was SIDS and I said no... but we don't know what it was just yet. He said something about how strong I am and that he was glad that I told him about Olivia.
How could I not tell him? If I had not told him then it would be like me forgetting about her. I know that this will come up often. You don't realize how much children monopolize everyday conversations. It is natural when you are meeting someone new to ask if they have any children. I will always cringe when answering that question. What do I say? Right now, yes, I did. Or later... do I include Olivia in the count? I am sure that someday I will figure it out. For now, I am glad that I told Brian about Olivia. And really... it went well. After telling him about Olivia he opened up to me about some hardships that him and his wife went through. It was a difficult conversation but it was good to talk about her.
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